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The P Files Newsletter
Lorena Banda
May 21, 2024
Hey Mamacitaaa! 💋
This month’s newsletter will be shorter than usual. As you all know, I recently moved to Miami 🌴 and started a new job! In my new role, I’m currently managing three electoral campaigns. Yes.. THREE.. So things have been craazyyyyy. I’ve been trying my best to take care of myself while adjusting to this new city and new position. And I’m not going to lie, I’ve been struggling. But that’s okay. Settling in takes time. On today’s Newsletter we will go over:
Mental Health Awareness Month 💜🧠💐
Self love and sexual experiences 💗
Sex Toy of The Month 🍑🍆
Political Pu**y 🗳😼
Let’s Get Into It…
“No comes mucho. Vas engordar.” “Your tits are so small!” “You’re that chubby pretty.” Those are the words that have been told to me by the people closest to me. From a very young age I’ve felt like my physical appearance was never good enough.
The National Eating Disorders Association reports that 56% of Latinas experience body shape concerns. I remember going to the doctor and I was told that I was overweight, which caused me to be obsessed with losing weight. I was 10 years old at the time… Now combine my obsession with losing weight with the fact that I was born with a birth defect called, gastroschsis. My perception of self was not the best… I didn’t love what I was seeing in the mirror. Me being ashamed of my body image and having little to no self love for myself led me to make poor decisions when it came to my sexual experiences. It led me to make poor decisions on who I gave my body to because I wanted to feel my “worth” which caused even more shame within myself. My lack of self love also caused me to stay in relationships/situationships where I was treated poorly. I was mentally and emotionally abused by the men that I was with. Why did I stay? Because at one point in my life I did believe that I deserved to be treated as such and I probably wasn’t going to find anything better. However, I grew tired of going through that cycle of pain and hurt and I said no more. I deserve the love that I yearn for, but it starts with me choosing myself and loving ME first.
Would my self love be different if from very young age I had loved ones around me that showered me with compliments and reminded me of my self worth? Maybe… I do believe that would have caused my self-esteem to be impacted in a positive way, but we will never know. I learned to forgive my parents for the unwanted comments about my eating habits/body, or for not showing me enough affection when I was a little girl. I believe I needed extra love and compliments from them because of my birth defect and how different I looked from everybody else. But I can’t blame them for not giving me that because they were both immigrants who were simply trying to survive and navigate in a country where all odds were against them
As for me, I’ve forgiven myself for not loving me and not knowing my worth. But I can’t lie that there are days where it feels like I’m back to where I once was. However, in those moments I remind myself that I deserve grace. My physical appearance is beautiful. And I am not my past sexual experiences. It also helps that I have incredible boyfriend that is patient, kind, and loving towards me everyday. So shout out to my mannnnnnn ❤️🥰.
As Megan Thee Stallion Would Say: “Just know that you’re THAT girl. You just have no choice but to be THAT girl” 💗
Con Amor,
Lorena
Articles To Read:
VOGUE India: How body dysmorphic disorder shapes our experience of sex and pleasure, Written By: Shubhanjana Das
biird: How Does Self-Esteem Affect Your Sexuality?, Written By: Ellie Cooper
Resources:
Sex Toy Of The Month
Arousal:
💦 💦 💦 / 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦
Battery Life:
🔋🔋🔋🔋🔋 / 🔋🔋🔋🔋🔋
This Ava Ergo Vibrator Wand ain’t bad! I was a little skeptical at first because the head is so big (no pun intended 😉) but she got her doneeeee! Now let’s talk about battery life. I know we all have those day where we need extra tender love and care 💦🍆🍑. Tranqui Mami. The Ava Ergo Vibrator Wand has a battery life of 6 hours!
Political Pu**y
Stay informed with all things pleasure, reproductive justice, women’s health and sexual health around the globe!
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