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Is marriage really for me? 💍👰🏻♀️
Lorena Banda
August 08, 2025
Why do I want to get married? A question that I’ve been asking myself for years.
I wasn’t surrounded by happy and healthy marriages growing up. While my parents have been together for 30+ years, I never really saw them as marriage goals. There was no affection between them around my sisters and I. Yes, I saw them crack the occasional jokes, but my parents never really had fun. While I know they love each other, I can’t help but wonder how life got in the way of their romance. Raising four daughters with little money and not much help from their community… They were too busy trying to survive. My parents forgot how to love and care for each other.
I’m not here to convince you to get married or not. I simply want to talk through my thoughts and feelings around getting married.
My parents’ marriage is not the sole reason why I’ve questioned if I want to get married. Seeing the women around me get treated poorly by men and my own dating experiences has lead me to this point. The sacrifices that those women have made, the numerous children being born with little to no help, the compromise of their dreams and aspirations…
I don’t understand how most latinx parents try to shield their teenage daughters from being in relationships and from having sex in order to protect their “innocence”, but push them to marry in their 20s and start a family. This does more harm than good. It leads to women who do not know how to set boundaries, ending up in toxic relationships, and not knowing what they really want. Why not push our women to pursue higher education or work towards their dreams?
As a very successful woman, who has a career, her own money, and so much going on for herself - Men tend to feel inferior around me because of my success. I’ve had boyfriends who have tried to talk me out of accepting really big opportunities. And I’ve dated men who were jealous of my lifestyle, such as the apartment’s I was able to afford.
What is my hesitancy about marriage? I’m afraid of losing my autonomy…
I asked my followers on TikTok about how they felt about marriage. Here is what they had to say:
I want you to know that you and your partner get to define your marriage.
NOT your culture.
NOT your family.
NOT society.
NOT social media.
You BOTH do.
Marriage isn’t for everyone and that is also O K A Y. Some of us may feel pressure to get married right away. You might be thinking “Omg I’m turning 30 in a year and I’m no where near to getting married.” I’m here to remind you that we all have different paths and timelines. The beauty in it all is that YOU get to determine what you want and don’t want in your life. I’m 100% NOT against marriage at all. I simply just question if marriage is right choice for me…
Con Amor,
Lorena
💌 P.S. I would LOVE to hear from you! What are your thoughts and feelings around marriage? Do you feel pressure to get married within the next couple of years? Feel free to leave a comment or hit REPLY. I want to know what you have to say 💖
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