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Embracing Self-Love: Navigating Masturbation as a First-Gen Chicana

Embracing Self-Love: Navigating Masturbation as a First-Gen Chicana

The P Files Newsletter #3

April 01, 2024

Hola Mis Amores!

I’m so excited to be back! When I tell ya’ll this past month has been C R A Z Y… But God is good! On today’s Newsletter we will go over:

Embracing Self-Love: Navigating Masturbation as a First-Gen Chicana💗
The P Files Spotlight Presents Cindy Luquin 🙌🏼
Sex Toy of The Month 🍑🍆
Political Pu**y 🗳
Featured On 💁🏻‍♀️
What I’m currently reading 📖
What I’m currently listening to 🎙

Let’s Get Into It…

In 1994, President Bill Clinton fired the first African American and second woman to be U.S Surgeon General, Jocelyn Elders, for saying that masturbation should be taught at school.

"I think that is something that is a part of human sexuality and it's a part of something that perhaps should be taught."

Former U.S. General Surgeon, Jocelyn Elders.

I don’t know about ya’ll but growing up in an immigrant Latinx household, masturbation was seen as a ‘dirty’ thing to do. “No hacemos eso.” And if I’m being honest, I thought only boys could masturbate. I didn’t know that I was allowed to explore myself in that way because no one talked to me about pleasure. Especially pleasuring myself.

Culturally when we talk about sex.. well… scratch that because we don’t even discuss sex…We associate it with having babies. We don’t associate sex with pleasure whether it’s with a partner or with ourselves.

Masturbation, pleasure, and orgasm where all foreign words to me. It wasn’t until my early twenties and I was living on my own that I started exploring myself. I knew I couldn’t take that step while living with my parents because I would have felt so much shame. And vibrators are loud as fuck so I definitely would have not been able to do it discreetly 🤣. I bought my very first vibrator (see vibrator of the month below 😉) and that’s when I truly experienced and orgasm. And I’m not going to lie I didn’t even realize that I had experienced an orgasm because I didn’t know what it was suppose to feel like. No one ever talked to me about this. I had to research it on google lol. Even when I started exploring myself I always thought “Is this normal?” “Am I allowed to do this?”.

I agree with former U.S. Surgeon General, Jocelyn Elders. Masturbation should be apart of sex education in schools. Growing up, I was surround by young girls getting pregnant at the ages of 15 and 16. In my opinion, if we were taught that exploring our bodies and our sexuality was normal and okay to do so, I believe many of those teen pregnancies could have been avoided. Not all but some. According to the Center For Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) “In 2019, the birth rates for Hispanic teens (25.3) and non-Hispanic Black teens (25.8) were more than two times higher than the rate for non-Hispanic White teens (11.4). The birth rate of American Indian/Alaska Native teens (29.2) was highest among all race/ethnicities.”

Sometimes we tend to give ourselves to people who don’t deserve us, which can lead to trauma, STDs, STIs, and unwanted pregnancies. According to the CDC, 53% of reported cases of chlamydia, gohnorrea, and syphills were among individuals ages 15-24. During the ages 18-23, I found myself giving my body to men who didn’t deserve to know me in that way. But I still did it for many reasons. Some of them being that I didn’t know how to say no or I thought that if I slept with them they would want to be with me and love me. The way I navigated my sexual experience in my late teens and early twenties led to trauma, STIs, and honestly ZERO orgasms lol. I finally asked myself “Lorena, why are you giving yourself to men who don’t give one fuck about you?” I had to call out my own bullsh*t.

As a first-generation Chicana, I was taught to put the needs of others before my own. This bled into my romantic relationships and sexual experiences. The act of self-sacrifice can also be seen as Marianismo, which in Latino America describes the traditional role of a woman (family and home centered). I didn’t known that I could experience pleasure on my own. I did not know it was okay for me to do so. Culturally we are taught that engaging in any type of sexual activity is “wrong” even with ourselves. However, as I got older I learned that learning about your body and what pleasure means to you is necessary.

We should teach young girls and women that you don’t need a man to experience sexual pleasure… All you need is yourself… And IT IS OKAY to masturbate!

Con Amor,
Lorena

P.S. - Here are some articles you can read more about masturbation and exploring yourself:

Cindy Luquin is a passionate educator in the field of sexuality education and reproductive justice with a special focus on Indigenous and Queer communities. Born in East LA, they grew up immersed in witnessing the challenges faced by Latinx and migrant communities.

They pursued their studies in Latin American Studies at California State University, Los Angeles, where they specialized in reproductive justice. Their research focused on sex positivity in Latinx communities, which highlighted the intersection of cultural identity and healthcare accessibility.

During their time at CSULA they led community initiatives to foster inclusive health education, Cindy has led a series of impactful community initiatives across Los Angeles County, conducting sexual health-positive workshops specifically tailored to engage and empower migrant and Latine/x communities.

Before founding Pleasure to People, Cindy Luquin worked in K-12 schools, where they developed outreach programs to increase migrant and bilingual family engagement. Their work has been recognized nationally for its impactful outreach.

Motivated by the need for culturally-affirming health education programs, Cindy Luquin established Pleasure to People, LLC to create a queer focused stigma-free zone for the real talk we all need. The organization has since impacted countless lives.

As a community leader, Cindy continues to bring community educational experiences in the DMV area. Her commitment to destigmatize sexuality and gender not only transforms lives but also paves the way for a more inclusive world.

To learn more about Cindy and upcoming events, you can follow them at:

Pleasure To People
LinkedIn
Instagram
Twitter
TikTok

Sex Toy Of The Month

Image from BIG SHOCKED store on Amazon

When I tell you to run and get you The Rose Vibrator… RUN GIRLLLLLLL.

The Rose Vibrator is my go to toy that is very affordable and gets the job done and more! This was actually my very first vibrator as well.

The thought of masturbation kind of made squirm a bit because growing up, I was taught that masturbation was ‘gross’ and that only men were allowed to masturbate. However, I decided to break that stigma for myself and explore my body to figure out what pleasure looks and feels like for me.

Whenever you’re ready to make the decision of exploring yourself, I would definitely start off with the Rose Vibrator. 😌

Political Pu**y

Stay informed with all things pleasure, reproductive justice, women’s health and sexual health around the globe!

Featured On

A LA LATINA: The Playbook to Succeed Being Your Authentic Self:

Meet Lorena Banda, a remarkable Latina trailblazer making waves in grassroots organizing, government, and the Femtech industry. From volunteering to becoming a…

www.linkedin.com/posts/a-la-latina_latinatrailblazer-inclusivity-leadership-activity-7161373163107344384-rQPX?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop

This past month I was featured on A La Latina’s The Playbook to Suceed Being Your Authentic Self series on LinkedIn! You can check out the post on the link above. Go show some love!

📖 What I’m currently reading: